I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
