She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
