Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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