An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
