I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
