You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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