I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
