Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
