where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
