i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
