Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
