Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
