Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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