Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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