..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
