New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
