Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
