WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my poor anus
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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