Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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