Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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