R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize