Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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