Apparently you make a good broom.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
