I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
