how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
