Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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