fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
