you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
