So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
