Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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