also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize