Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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