I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
