I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize