i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The convent might be a nice break from real life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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