you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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