whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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