So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
