My nipple is on Facebook.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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