this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
