I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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