Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize