Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
