PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
