He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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