I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
