theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
