the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
