he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
