Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
