"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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