no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
