The maid of honor just puked.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize