i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
