There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
