Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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