doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
