I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
