well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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